I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize