I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
