Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
