Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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