...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
