I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
