You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
