Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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