Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
