I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
