hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
