whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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