how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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