Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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