Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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