After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
