yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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