I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
