I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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