Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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