He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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