the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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