I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
