I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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