I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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