I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
