You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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