That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
