Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
