I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
