i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
