Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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