Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
