I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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