I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
