i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
