Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
