love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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