Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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