Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
