I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
