haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
