she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize