Swine flu. Run for my life!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize