What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
