You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
