I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
