my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
