I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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