btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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