1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize