Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
