the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
