im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
