Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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