You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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