i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize