Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
