ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
