It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
