Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
