is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
